bleeding-pain-first-sex

question about FIRST SEX by a girl

Hi Doctor,

I am 25 year old girl and married for last 1 and half yr. I want to ask a query regarding my sexual relationship with my husband.
Since the time we are married, we tried doing the intercourse, but everytime it failed.

I am very much afraid of intercourse, as soon as he comes close and is about to insert i get tensed and tightened my legs, which pushes him back.

That makes him loose his temper and stops talking with me for sometime..

This fear could be one of the reason, we don’t try the intercourse regularly….hardly once or twice a month…
I have a fear that it would bleed badly…and hence i do not allow him to closer to me..

kindly advise how do i overcome this fear..since we are planning to have a baby by next year.

Thanks and Regards,
Mrs. xxx

DOCTOR’S NOTE

MYTH
There is pain initially. Pain subsides later on. There is often bleeding during first sex.

The above is ALL the knowledge about sex that 90.8% girls (who have not had premarital sex) have before marriage.
FACT
A girl need not at all have pain during first sexual intercourse. Sex is related to joy (anand) .

WHY IS THERE PAIN BLEEDING DURING FIRST SEXUAL INTERCOURSE?

It is this fear of pain that causes spasm of the pubococcygeus muscles that surround the vaginal opening. Thus the vaginal opening is not open like a round hollow space O. The vaginal opening gets clamped tight as a reflex action in anticipation of pain. It is like you shutting your mouth tight. If someone were to force feed you, the lips will pain and may bleed too.

When the penis is thrusted forcefully it leads to pain and bleeding. This experience is totally avoidable with proper general knowledge about sex, especially first sexual intercourse.