WORLD’S FREE HELPLINE FOR SEXUAL PROBLEMS.

http://mydoctortells.com and http://doctortells.blogspot.com
are not for profit enterprise of the Education wing of
SAMADHAN INDIA: Center for Therapy, Education, Research in Sex, Marriage, Relationships

Your question:
http://mydoctortells.jivisha.com/

i m jst 23 yrs. i m a virgin, i think i have a sex problem, coz whenever i try to attempt sex with my partner, my pennis dont support me. i think i m facing this problem bcoz of so much
masterbating. wht is the solution doctor. plz help me coz i m getting marry in this year.
Posted by : jagdish, 2 day(s) ago
Monday, March 2, 2010

Doctor’s Expert Medical Opinion (FREE):
Hi Jagdish,
(Name changed)

Inability to insert penis in vagina during sexual intercourse is called unconsummated (unconsummated) sex.
CAUSES
1
“ i m jst 23 yrs. i m a virgin, _ _ _ _”Not knowing how to do is foremost cause of penis not going in vagina during sex. I like the word you have used ‘virgin’. You have reason to be glad that this experience is a certificate that you both are virgin. What better proof can you have?
2
“ _ _ _ problem bcoz of so much masterbating _ _ _”

Write this permanently on your brain,

“MASTURBATION DOES NOT CAUSE ANY HARMFUL EFFECT EVEN IF YOU HAVE DONE IN EXCESS AND BEGUN EARLY IN AGE.

MASTURBATION IS BENEFICIAL FOR HEALTH AND USEFUL SEXUAL OUTLET. MASTURBATION IS THE ONLY METHOD THAT IS 100% SAFE SEX.”

3
Not being able to insert penis (dick) in vagina (cunt) during sexual intercourse (fucking) makes any male nervous and diffident. When further attempts result in the same disappointing experience (“I am not able to fuck her.”) the male develops difficulty in erection, erection not strong as before, premature ejaculation. This is another reason why penis vagina sex does not happen.
DOCTOR, HOW COMMON IS THIS CONDITION?
Not being able to insert penis in vagina during sex is not uncommon.
More than 50% couples going for honeymoon are not able to insert penis in vagina during sexual intercourse. They do and should enjoy foreplay though.
WHAT IS THE TREATMENT?
“ _ _ _ _ _. wht is the solution doctor. plz help me coz i m getting marry in this year.”

I begin with SEX JOY THERAPY step 1For you too, I strongly recommend this part of the first step: not to even attempt insertion of penis in vagina. This is so because you are going to fail insertion and each time you try you will be more nervous and secondary problems related to erection, discharge invariably set in.
SOLUTION: Do not attempt insertion until you get proper guidance from experienced Marriage Counselor/Sex Therapist. This is what you require to regain confidence before marriage.

You will have healthy fantastically exciting sexual intercourse because this problem can DEFINITELY BE SOLVED.
REFERENCES that will be useful for you:
Look at my reply to the question

http://www.ammas.com/uploadedfiles/18563419138837_FIRST-SEX-mydoctortells.com.html

12/19/09
(6 days to closing) First time sex can you advice for male
i dont know how to have sex with my girlfriend. so please help me to know the procedure to have sex with her. how to start and what to do ,how to do. please help me.
– gala, india

Submitted to: Sexual Health category on: Ammas.com

I do not want to respond to this query.
Know someone who can answer this? Earn AA$ for their answer! And they earn AA$ too!

If you have any further doubts you can
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WORLD’S FREE HELPLINE FOR SEXUAL PROBLEMS.

http://mydoctortells.com and http://doctortells.blogspot.com

WORLD’S FREE HELPLINE FOR SEX PROBLEMS

are founded by the Education wing of
SAMADHAN INDIA: Center for Therapy, Education, Research in Sex, Marriage, Relationships

WORLD’S FREE HELPLINE FOR SEXUAL PROBLEMS.

http://mydoctortells.com and http://doctortells.blogspot.com
are not for profit enterprise of the Education wing of
SAMADHAN INDIA: Center for Therapy, Education, Research in Sex, Marriage, Relationships

Dr. Ashok Koparday

TO KNOW ABOUT INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY CLICK HERE.

HISTORY OF INTERNATIONAL WORLD WOMEN’S DAY

In 1911, International Women’s Day IWD was marked by over a million people in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland, on March 19. ^[1]
In 1910 the first international women’s conference was held in Copenhagen where an important German Socialist Clara Zetkin came in the limelight. ^[2]

PACE OF CHANGE IN INDIAN WOMEN

URBAN INDIA
100 years later International Women’s Day is celebrated in India with mixed colors. The rural India is by far unaware of Women’s Day, which is celebrated by the educated class in the metropolis of India. The urban metrosexuals are embracing concepts of right of freedom of choice and respect for individuality of woman at a fast pace. The traditional ‘woman is inferior than man’ idea imbibed in the minds of boys and girls are not yet destroyed, but the castle is collapsing to the apprehension of the adults of 2010 generation.

Though the daily working costume, the freedom of sexual cohabitation are being aped from the American culture as seen conspicuously in college campuses and DJ parties, the diligence to study and work for a chosen career/job along with responsibility towards one’s own decision for career, mate, and life are still in budding stage.

RURAL INDIA
International Women’s Day comes close after Holi and Rang Panchami that mark the beginning of summer. World Women’s Day is almost nonexistent in rural India and the slums of the Indian cities where rural folks migrate to earn to stay alive. Over 80% of India is busy struggling against poverty, fighting to stay alive and to supplement life with heavy dose of movie and television media.

ROLE OF GOVERNMENT

Though the government of India and the state governments are coming out with ammunitions to support women, example: to penalize female feticide, the fact of life for the traditional Indian, whether in city or village is to be prepared to give away huge amount of unavoidable dowry, which is being still taken surreptitiously from the girl’s parents in all marriages.
The colors are not changing for the Indian women in 2010.

MOVING TOWARDS WORLD WOMEN’S DAY 2011

World Women’s Day is great inspiration for budding generation of boys and girls and for Non Governmental Organizations that have taken cudgels against atrocities to women from womb to tomb, NGO’s who battle to protect women’s rights.

Women as all human beings should have the opportunity to lead a fulfilling and sustainable life, irrespective of gender. Men have as much to gain as women from celebrating World Women’s Day. ^[3]

TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WORLD WOMEN’S DAY CLICK HERE.

[1]
http://www.internationalwomensday.com/first.asp
[2]
http://www.un.org/events/women/iwd/2008/history.shtml
[3]
http://100yrswomensday.blogspot.com/

It is easy.

Biological attraction.
2

It is cheap.

Cheap in the sense the value (the high) they get out of it is worth the money spent. No expenses of betrothal.
3

Free of STD

and considered better than prostitution.

4

Others cannot do anything

about it

5

Extramarital affair is compulsive.

The taste of romance is almost addictive. It is like a drug. Once begun it too requires commitment of sort. There is fear of blackmailing.
6

The preconditioned notion of ‘no romance is possible’ with the existing partner.

7

The labor of revival or recreation of romance in existing married relationship is not easy.

8

Separation is aweful due to repurcussion on children

9

The partner is tolerant

and does not take strict action against it.

10

Some justification is always available

to rationalize the extramarital affair and point fault of the existing committed relationship

Why is Extra marital affair not in limelight or done furtively?

Extramarital affair is it looked down upon.

Most people regard extramarital affair as violation of marital trust and responsibility.
It is equated with unfaithfulness and cheating.
It is proscribed by religion.
It is looked down upon all over geographically and through out history as lesser than marriage.
Hence, if a powerful person like a king is in love then he has to marry the other girl, either because he is righteous and admits sex after marriage or because the girl or her guardian gets vow that the king can meet and mate only after marriage.
King Shantanu and Queen Satyavati, mother of Dhritarashtra, Pandu, and Vidur.

What alternates to marriage are experimented?
Several. Some of them are:
Live in relation.
Live out relation.

Definition of Betrothal:Main Entry: be·troth·al
Pronunciation: \-ˈtrō-thəl, -ˈtrȯ-, -thəl\
Function: noun
Date: 1831
1 : the act of betrothing or fact of being betrothed
2 : a mutual promise or contract for a future marriage

merriam-webster.coml

In emergency Surgeon may have to operate and perform circumcision.

However, in my practice almost all the people have been able to push the skin over the glans.
This is a how to do it procedure whereby you do not need to go to a doctor

HOW TO BRING THE FORESKIN BACK IN PLACE YOURSELF WITHOUT GOING TO DOCTOR

The three simple proven steps are:
1
Get Lignox 2% from chemists shop.

2
Take cold water bath or clean genitals with cold water and soap.
Reason:
Cold water helps penis to further shrink in size. Soap cleans any infection causing microbes.

3
Apply lignox 2% on affected part.
After 5 to 10 minutes penis skin will be painless.
Now manually bring foreskin back in position.

WHAT IF THIS DOES NOT HELP
Go to qualified General Surgeon or Urosurgeon. He will do circumcision.

IMPORTANT
Read about paraphimosis and circumcision and see illustrated pictures at http://doctortells.blogspot.com

MY DOCTOR TELLS: BEST AGE FOR MARRIAGE IS 20 YEARS TO 25 YEARS.

MY DOCTOR TELLS
WHY 20 TO 25 YEARS IS BEST FOR MARRIAGE

The testosterone hormone and other hormones are at crazy high in teens. Puberty (Adolescence) kick starts growth in the reproductive system so that a child matures into grown up adult capable of bearing healthy children. This is the time when sexual arousal (romance, love) rises to unprecedented peak. Nature’s law commands human body to indulge in sexual activity. Your child has begun to experience pleasure sensation of different kind, sexual pleasure,
Physically, emotionally, intellectually, instinctively, intuitively, ethically you have God’s master piece, the adult human being, ready by the time teenage is over.

MY DOCTOR TELLS DEFINITION OF TEEN

Teen =thirteen to nineteen.

Nature’s universal intrinsic law of development, the bio rhythm, does not and will not wait or postpone the cascade of biological changes of ripening for fertility & best progeny (sexual pleasure included). It is Nature prepares human being for procreation/recreation at the optimum time. It is not Nature’s business or God’s job to wait till you finish your studies or settle in business or job. In the mangoe season mangoes will ripen & fall whether you pluck them or not.

So when sexual drive and fertility is at its peak it is the best time for conjugal union. (Throughout this chapter read sex also as love or romance.)

It also gives sufficient time for the couple to establish strong bonding in their relationship. This is the single most important fundamental foundation of quality rich marriage.

Not to say that if the girl & the boy find they are mismatch they become more prudent & there is time enough to find the right match.
Did you say they are too young for their life’s decision?
I disagree. You have respected their intelligence to vote, meaning to choose who is the right person to govern the town, the state, the nation. You respect their maturity by allowing them to view movies, which are strictly for grown up adults and prohibited for the kids. Besides, it is better that the young decide and not the old as to what is good for their own lives. They can certainly seek guidance from the old folk as also learn from their mistakes. (The next generation cannot be carbon copy of the previous generation.)

WHAT ABOUT THEIR HIGHER EDUCATION, THEIR JOB
They can be steady and pursue their learning, unlearning & vocation. In committed relation they have healthy sexual outlet. Romance, love, sex are complementary not contradictory to their learning to live and earn.

On Fast Track with Dr. Ashok Koparday. Marriage Counselor

WHAT IS SEX DEPRIVATION?
If a person has not had sex despite sexual desire for long period of time it is called Sex Deprivation.

Thus, the couple may have not had sex for 1 year or for even 10 years or more.

HOW WIFE REFUSES SEX?
Often wife refuses sex persistently with excuses.
Some of the excuses are:

• I am tired
• It pains
• Sex harms pregnancy
• No sex after delivery (bearing a child)/post partum
• We are old
• We have children and grand children
• Religion says control, no sex
• You are not well
• I am not well
• I do not feel like having sex, honey
• [ NO REASON . . .]

Wife says to her husband, “I am helpless. I know sex is your requirement, but I do not feel like having sex.”
This is not uncommon.
It is many a man’s silent unspoken misery.

SOME REASONS OF SEX DEPRIVATION
Why she (wife) does not participate in sex?
Of the many reasons some reasons are

• RESENTMENT
• she is in love with another guy
• Diseases/disability in husband
• Her own diseases (Depression is the commonest.)

Dislike of husband or some things about husband can culminate in Sex Deprivation.
Most often covertly, though not overtly, if wife resents husband, she does not feel like having sex with him, sex is repulsive to her.

Interestingly, insufficient privacy is not the cause of sex deprivation.

Love expresses ultimately as Sex in a couple
Resentment expresses ultimately as Sex Deprivation in a couple

Sex Deprivation almost always is unreported to sex therapist.

WHAT GOOD DOCTOR’S OUGHT TO DO?
Psychiatrist, Cardiologist, Gynecologist, Orthopedicians, Doctors managing recurrent illnesses and the Family Health Care Physicians are the doctors who must inquire about often the patient has sex.

A small questionnaire is designed by Dr. Ashok Koparday, that eliminates the taboo/shame barrier between the treating physician and the patient.

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT FOR THE TREATING PHYSICIAN TO KNOW ABOUT SEX DEPRIVATION?
HAZARDS OF SEX DEPRIVATION (As a corollary read benefits of Sex Chapters 1 to 11)
Why Doctors must ask and patients must tell doctors about Sex Deprivation?
Many couples just stop having sex. There are several reasons.
Sex Deprivation can cause psychosomatic illnesses of various types, depression and emotional breakdown, too.
Sex Deprivation aggravates existing illnesses like diabetes, hypertension, ischemic myocardial infarction, angina, stroke, renal diseases and decreases immune defense mechanism of human body, thus making the person susceptible to frequent illnesses.

On Fast Track
with
Dr. Ashok Koparday

IMPORTANT

This third chapter of the basics of WHAT TO DO on suhagraat, (सुहागरात) is perhaps the most important and my doctor tells a reason that is the simplest of all.

MY DOCTOR TELLS definition of Good Girl
A good girl is supposed to be the girl who does not speak about sex, does not watch those kinds of things, does not touch or explore her own sexual organs.

WHAT I MEAN BY SUHAGRAT सुहागरात OR FIRST SEX?

By suhagraat, सुहागरात I mean not only the first night of wedding, but also the first few weeks.
By suhagraat, I mean not only wedding, but I mean first sex or first few making outs before first sexual intercourse in a relationship that is committed, married or otherwise.

MY DOCTOR TELLS THE

REASON

How can a girl who has never stood naked with all her clothes off in her own home in front of a mirror be comfortable with the idea of sleeping (sexual act is way beyond) naked on the first day of the marriage सुहागरात with a person whom she knows just for a short period?

SEX IS A FOUR LETTER WORD, LOVE.

SOCIO CULTURAL MEANING

WHO IS ‘GOOD GIRL’?

Even today (‘Today’ as used here is not just the time of my writing this. This ‘today’ is going to be ‘today’, whichever decade you are reading this.) socio-cultural norms in Asian Indians define a good girl as chaste^[2], not talking, asking, and doing anything about the three-letter word ’sex’. A good girl is supposed to be the girl who does not speak about sex, does not watch those kinds of things, does not touch or explore her own sexual organs.

THINK OF HER PLIGHT

Can you imagine the magnitude of her plight on suhagraat सुहागरात?
You cannot imagine if you are a guy. The Good Girls, however, will accede to this.

FIRST IMPRESSION
Most likely, you are dating or engaged to such a Good Girl. So bear in mind: When you are gentle and not pouncing on her as an animal (She remembers the rape scene) for sex, she will respect you more. This would be your first impression. The boy is kind, considerate and does not force himself on the girl, but gives time for more intimacy and her willingness before he indulges in insertion.

MY DOCTOR TELLS HAVE SEX. NO SEX
DOCTOR DOES NOT MEAN ‘NO SEX’.
MY DOCTOR TELLS

DEFINITION OF SEX

I am not saying, “Do not have sex”. Sex is not just peno-vaginal insertion.
Sex, is a four letter word, LOVE.
Love includes trust, time, talk; touch . . . ^[1] insertion is far away, unless you are with a prostitute.

MAKING OUT . MAKING LOVE . FOREPLAY
Have foreplay as much as you wish as many days/weeks as you wish, literally to your heart’s content, but refrain from insertion of penis, the sexual intercourse till she is okay with it.

Note
VIRGIN ^[2]
Virgin girl may not be chaste.
Chaste girl may not be virgin.

Acknowledgement
1
The T’s of love 1. Trust 2. Time 3. Talk 4. Touch are derived from Dr. Mahinder Watsa’s talk.
2
Dr. Prakash Kothari’s famous definition and distinction of VIRGINITY

First sex

One important reason not to hasten insertion of penis in vagina (sexual intercourse) is that the vaginal opening gets clamped and closed due to natural fear of initial experience in the newly wed.
This phenomenon, where subconsciously the muscles around vagina (pubococcygeous muscles) contract due to which the vaginal passage opening get closed is called vaginismus. It is not uncommon and is one of the main reasons of panic in the newly wed groom.

This inability to insert penis in vagina is not uncommon in the newly wed. Over 50% of couples who go for honey moon return without having had sexual intercourse. This situation is called unconsummated marriage.

MYDOCTORTELLS

What are the reasons of unconsummated marriage?
How to ascertain vaginismus is the cause of unconsummation without going to a doctor?
What is the treatment for vaginismus?
What can be done to be able to insert penis in vagina without having to go to a doctor?
How to be sure that the unconsummation is not because of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation?
Does excessive masturbation cause this problem?
Is unconsummation due to male sexual problem or due to female sexual problem?
Click here

FIRST NIGHT AFTER WEDDING

SUHAGRAT
सुहागरात
The first night after the wedding is supposed to be a very special night for the bride and the groom. The popular hindi cinema in India shows a bedroom with a bed having four props on its four edges. Garlands and flowers held on the props lavishly decorate the bed. The bride coyly brings a glass of sweet milk flavored and enriched with dry fruits. The film hero who is reclining on the bed looks amorously at his shy wife and grips her hand. He pulls her close to him. The wife bashfully sits near him and as he tries to bring her closer to him the romantic atmosphere mounts. Then the censors step in.

MY DOCTOR TELLS:
It is best to avoid sexual intercourse on the first few days/nights of wedding ceremony. Instead hug each other and go to sleep.
OR
Talk, indulge in sexual foreplay, but do not attempt insertion of penis in vagina.
Why? There are many reasons why the insertion will not happen in the hectic tiring wedding ceremony. To know read ahead . . .

WHAT TO DO – WRONG BELIEF

FIRST NIGHT SUHAGRAT

सुहागरात
Many a fresh husbands have similar bed enthusiastically garlanded by friends for their very first night. He believes that this being the night he has to do sexual intercourse. Not doing so would be abnormal and the bride would look down upon him. What a first impression? Also, he doesn’t want to be ridiculed by his friends/relatives for failing on his first night. In some Arab countries relatives wait outside expecting to be shown bloodstained cloth, which is considered, proof of the girl’s virginity. Bleeding during the first sexual act is considered natural by many people world over.

WHAT TO DO – MY DOCTOR TELLS

FIRST NIGHT SUHAGRAT

सुहागरात
So the marriage and sexual health experts’ advice that on the first night since the couple is most likely to be tired after the grueling wedding ceremony it is best to avoid sexual intercourse and instead hug each other and go to sleep in order to wake up refreshed for the next day. You have an entire lifetime for sex. Not heeding this sane simple advice if the hero goes ahead for sexual intercourse it is most likely going to result in sexual experience which is less than satisfactory in many ways; sometimes even leading to a sour, disappointing experience.

MY DOCTOR TELLS: WHY

In the traditional Indian marriages the boy and the girl sleep late, way past midnight, yet have to wake up early in the morning. Not only the previous days but the entire wedding day as well is very tiring for the groom and the bride. They have to force smiles on their faces as they go through the motion of greeting individually friends and relatives who are lined in a queue waiting their turn to go on the podium where under the glaring lights of the cameraman they pose for the video shooting. By the end of the day, you bet, they are dead tired and would drop off to sleep like wooden logs. But at night in bed he labors under the pressure “I have to do sex on my first wedding night”. Commonsense tells how inappropriate is the demand on oneself for sexual activity when the couple is drained out and fatigued. Think.

DOCTOR’S PRIVATE ROOM

WHAT I HEAR: MALE CONCERNS

What will she think of me? Would she not be disappointed if I don’t do sexual intercourse? Doesn’t she crave for it? It’s not in sync with manliness. It isn’t macho. It is not the normal thing. Will I not be a laughing stock amidst friends and relatives? First Night comes only once in one’s lifetime. It’s special. Should you let go on such a unique occasion? Is it the right thing to do? These would be the typical doubts entertained by the ignorant.

MY DOCTOR TELLS

First, understand that the bride would not resent you but would in fact thank you and appreciate if you choose to abstain from sexual intercourse on the first night. You could even speak to her to find out if it’s acceptable to her if you call it a day and both take rest, keeping the sex thing for the next available opportunity so that it’s pleasant and thoroughly enjoyable for both.
Second thing is you are not obliged to tell outsiders what’s happened or not happened inside the bedroom. It’s your personal choice. It’s your private matter. And even if they know, don’t you worry, for your reasons are sound and sane.

Cool man. Cool.

On Fast Track
with
Dr. Ashok Koparday
सुहागरात सुहागरात सुहागरात सुहागरात सुहागरात