Happy, healthy marriages are now like endangered species. As a Marriage Counselor the twist in the story

 http://mydoctortells.com/save-your-marriage-story/ that saves marriage of a couple ready for separation and divorce fascinated me. 

Counseling, Advice, or Guidance for Healthy Marriage is not useless. It is used less.

Preparing for divorce or preparing for healthy marriage?

Needless to say that divorce rates, divorce record, divorce laws, divorce problems are increasing.   Divorce, that too, fast divorce, easy divorce even on line divorce (you only heard about on line dating) is being chosen as a quick fix to resolve marriage conflict. How to save my marriage or marriage guidance is not sought when couples have marriage problems.

We have divorce attorney, structured divorce laws, divorce lawyers, marriage or family courts, but do we have marriage counselors or institutions teaching intimacy and skills of making love, a map or guide book to show the path to live harmoniously, happily married for ever? It is funny that we are well prepared (by various means) for eventual divorce, but ill prepared for healthy marriage. 

Prepare for healthy marriage

Learn to tune in, be in harmony, express intimacy, have lively rapport, resolve irritating matters, hold hands despite differences, form robust bonding, feel secure, get the sense of belonging in your married relationship. To enrich your marriage seek out marriage counselors and learn from them when you are in teens.

Why marry, if you do not care to learn how to tie the emotional stings in a loving robust bond? Why waste money and energy; why spend precious time and invest your life when you do not care to learn the art of living harmoniously for happy marriage? Do you know how much you invest in a relationship? You were not born with the knowledge of driving a car, or flying a plane. Even walking and talking had to be taught to you. Why not learn skills of bonding, art of healing strained relationships so that your life is rich and fulfilling?

Think!

One important reason for troubled marriages is not knowing intimacy skills. It is a basic primer. Marriage guidance is useful, before and after marriage, just as guidance is useful to learn cooking How dare you drive without knowing basics of driving? Driving involves complex things like changing gears, using your hands to steer, your feet are alert and know when to push and how much, eyes are riveted on the road. Yet you are so skilled that you do all this effortlessly and even manage to talk with your daughter or laugh with your son while driving. I am sure I have driven my point clearly. 

If you are a rational,  reasonable person you definitely know what to do to avoid trouble, what to do when in trouble. If you have flaring upper respiratory tract infection then you take steps to restore health and do not walk towards symmetry, do you? Similarly I am sure you know it is important to seek marriage guidance or counseling before and after marriage. You would not rush to divorce lawyer or divorce attorney only if you knew how to manage conflicts, restore health and happiness in marriage.

While dealing with Marriage Conflicts you push your troubles under the carpet, or medically speaking push your hurt, resentment underneath your conscious awareness. This is because you do not know any other way of dealing with marriage conflicts. You are ashamed to bring it out in public. Dating followed by Mating , Love, Marriage and eventual Divorce need not be anticipated module for our generation.

So, thou shall not

• Do not push hurt, resentment inside, underneath your conscious awareness or
• rush to seek separation or divorce or
• become an alcoholic or workaholic .

The best and sensible way is to go to marriage counselor if your marriage is on the rocks. 

I am sure you would like to learn how to deal with difficulties in marriage. Communication and Management, Leadership, Motivational training is offered to Corporate Executives. Similarly seek out planned training programs to have fulfilling married life.

Cooking, Dancing require certain skills so does happy marriage.

Without learning you cannot read and write.
without learning you cannot have healthy happy marriage.

Get a rule book on how to maintain life long partnership. Joys and sorrows are inevitable whether you are married, single or divorced. Learn how to share joys and sorrows in married relationship. Learn how to express love, respect, care. Learn skills of intimacy, art of making love.

If you are marrying do what it takes to experience quality rich family life.