QUESTION
19 year boy stood up to ask,
“If I and my girl friend are both consenting partners and if we practice safe sex, should we or should we not have sexual intercourse?”
I was asked this during my Question Answer Session that always follows my talk. The flow of talk and the rapport was so mesmerizing that the College students as well as the faculty appeared to be unmindful of the alloted time.
The topic given to me by the faculty of the College was ‘Responsible Sexual Behavior’.
REJOINDER
Why should I tell you what you ought to do?
I can tell you the traffic rules. I can tell you what green signal means. I can tell you penalty what you are likely to incur if you rush through the traffic unmindful of the red signal.
I do not sermonize nor do I mix morals/ethics with sexuality. I am non judgmental. The morals fall in place once the rationale or the facts of the sexual matter are understood. Moreover, it is they this generation who will choose norms of sexual behavior, which may be way different from what it was decades ago. Change in the outlook towards sexual behavior and relationships is welcome. It is inevitable.
SAFE SEX
Safe Sex, most believe, is sex between consenting partners who take care to avoid unwanted pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infection.
UNSAFE SEX
[1] The First factor is
Unwanted pregnancy and
[2] The Second factor is
Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI)
Are these the only two risk factors from which one should protect during sexual intimacy so that it can be called safe sex?
[3]
THE THIRD FACTOR
Before the girl and the boy go in for sex, they have been in love for some months. Even before being in love they have been friends for several months. They gradually get attracted to each other. When this attraction culminates in sex it is called premarital sex or sex before marriage.
We are not talking about getting sex with money or equivalent transaction. We are not talking about one night stands. Of course we are not talking about sex with married partner.
We are talking about sex that follows special relationship, which is more than just friendship. You may call it romance/love/courtship/close friendship.
When the two have been enjoying sex for some time if one of them wants to quit for whatever reason what happens to them.
May be they separate due to parental pressure and disapproval. Both of them experience agony.
All love do not end up in marriage and all love need not end up with sex.
Just go through the story below. It is adapted from a passage in a very popular novel.
The air was suddenly harder to breathe.
“Louise,” Mike said in a low soothing voice, “you have nothing to worry about.
You are completely safe.” We are tested HIV negative, the pregnancy test is negative. We both have spoken to the doctor and confirmed. You will start getting your periods once you relax.
“Do you think that’s what I’m worried about?” I asked in disbelief.
“What else is there?” He was surprised. He might feel the tenor of my emotions, but
he couldn’t read the reasons behind them.
“You heard what Angelina said,” my voice was low, but he could hear me easily, of course. “I cannot live without you Mike. I cannot have relation with any one the way I have with you, even if he is my husband. This is all meaningless. What if you get married to someone else, and I am standing helpless, in love. . . .
[3]
This is THIRD RISK FACTOR of unsafe sex.
The risks of sex are not only unwanted pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections, which includes HIV/AIDS, but also emotional trauma of separation from relationship. If either the boy or the girl quits romantic relation the spurned lover may have anger, vengeance. Hurt, life long guilt, distrust, depression may be experienced by both or either one.
[4]
Is there FOURTH RISK FACTOR of unsafe sex?