stress-test-mental

CHIDE TEST

MEASURE YOUR ANGER QUOTIENT - AQ

Do you frequently turn angry? You know that is bad for health of the person on whom you blast.

CHIDE TEST tells how a person reacts to a situation. Has the person become irritable lately?

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Start an argument with the person whose CHIDE TEST is to be done. Slowly, hurl insulting slangs. Now step up to abusive language.
GRADE 1 uses the following:

Stupid, moron, useless, worth less, you do not know what you are doing,
rascal, good for nothing, sick silly sucking sud

Obscene words have to be used with caution. I repeat, make sure the person does not have anything handy to throw on your face.
PRECAUTION
In this scientific exercise it is important to use the native language of the person. If you have good diction and hurl torrent of abuses, and if the person knows nothing but his native language, he may end up saying, “Thank you” with a broad smile. This indeed is waste of your fxxxking time.

“I can even kill to get a NOBEL PRIZE for PEACE” - anon

THE PSEUDO SCIENTIFIC DETAILS BEGIN BELOW.
You may skip it and go directly here if you are in a hurry.
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TESTS
Comparison of tests available to Physician vis a vis tests available to Psychiatrist for Diagnosis.
Are there blood tests or X ray tests for Diagnosis of Psychiatric Illness?
In clinical medicine to diagnose pneumonia besides case history and clinical findings, radiological study of chest, [Xray Antero Posterior (AP) and Lateral (L) view] is done to confirm the diagnosis. Such test as X ray or Blood tests are not available as yet (till the time of writing) to the treating Psychiatrist/Psychologist/Psycho Therapist/Counselor for quick inexpensive confirmatory diagnosis.
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PET
PET Postiron Emission Tomography shows changes in the limbic system, which is useful for research. It is expensive, requires expertise and cannot be used in routine medical practice for diagnosis. PET is useless for treatment. (PET cannot be used as a tool to treat patients.)
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USES OF CHIDE TEST

One test that is easy, measurable and confirmatory is the CHIDE TEST.
CHIDE TEST
CHIDE TEST is an objective
1. DIAGNOSTIC test. CHIDE TEST gives specific measurable reading of person’s ANGER QUOTIENT, AQ.

2. PROGNOSIS
CHIDE TEST measures AQ, hence, it is useful in prognosis or measurement of improvement with treatment.
3. TREATMENT
CHIDE TEST is not only diagnostic, but is useful in THERAPY. Behavior Therapy uses CHIDE TEST. Cognitive distortions can be elucidated in laboratory setting. Person is taught how to differentiate between REACTION and RESPONSE in any given situation.
REACTION outburst hurts relationships whereas REACTION suppression leads to diseases.
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USES OF CHIDE TEST FOR TREATMENT

CHIDE TEST teaches the technique to keep one’s poise and equilibrium. It is therapeutically useful for people who complain of being tortured by angry out burst of BOSS (either at home or in office). CHIDE TEST measures how arrogant a person is. People are divided into GRADES I, II, III, which are further subdivided into A and B.
III rd GRADE is obviously worst case.
Example:
WHO HAS THE WORST AQ = CHIDE TEST III rd GRADE B ?
If a person is found to be afflicted by tremendous rage for duration of 12 months or more than 12 months and if that person is found to be causing major distress to people around than the person will be IIIrd GRADE B.
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PROCEDURE OF CHIDE TEST

HOW IS CHIDE TEST DONE?
The CHIDE TEST is a scientific session between two people when blame and unpleasant words, which are graded depending on their abuse potential, are spoken to a person. The person’s reaction is measured.

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STRESS TEST DONE FOR HEART FUNCTIONS
Stress test is done for people to check their cardio vascular function. The subject runs on a tread mill and the heart functions at various thresholds of exercise are measured electronically and recorded.
IN SIMPLE LANGUAGE
STRESS TEST is a procedure to check that the your heart functions well when you run.

If the heart seems to falter when the guy is running as most people’s would because we do not go running to the office and definitely do not come back home running. Sports does give some exercise, but it is limited to (medically speaking iris and the ocular muscles) eyeball muscles because you just watch sports on the Television (Idiot Box).

In such a normal person whose heart falters when forced to run, the doctor with grave face will tell you how bad you are at your heart. This solemn somber report, a procedure necessary to scare the wit out of the person. This is just to ensure that a border line or even normal person turns in to a cardiac patient. Doctor’s heart beats with joy. Here he has got a heart that is going to make him richer.]

To confirm the diagnosis of pneumonia X ray is useful. Does the Psychiatrist have X ray or Blood Tests to arrive at or to confirm diagnosis?

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We are going to see STRESS TEST for the mind.

It is simpler. Do you watch Raghu interviewing ROADIES? If you do, you do not need long explanation.
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STRESS TEST of the mind

is called

CHIDE TEST.

Material:
The PERSON you pick up for CHIDE TEST, you and an assistant.
Essential prerequisites:
The one who takes the CHIDE TEST must have masochistic ruthless brain, fluency in rich vocabulary of abuses, repertoire in insults.
Tip: You get this with practice. Just remember to be cruel.

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METHODOLOGY (using the suffix ‘LOGY’ is important. It makes the whole damn thing look respectful and scientific.)
It is recommended that the EXAMINER has a qualified ASSISTANT for the CHIDE TEST. For qualifications of the ASSISTANT go to the bottom of this page.

To See Picture Click Here

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PREPARATION
This is important.

• Make sure the subject who is to take the CHIDE TEST does not carry any explosives, ammunitions.
• Whisk away all objects from his pocket before you commence the test. Eg. Cell phones are not allowed inside laboratory. We don’t want a III rd grade ragamuffin picking out some object from his pocket and throwing on the face of the esteemed examiner. The scar looks ugly.
  These precautions are necessary because CHIDE TEST is not done under anesthesia. Using anesthesia is Surgeon’s job.
• The person must be sober, preferably empty stomach, meaning starving.
  Who is unfit for CHIDE TEST.
  Make sure that the subject is not drunk or under the influence of drugs. Such a person is a reckless weapon himself. This person is unfit and disqualified to undergo the CHIDE TEST in the laboratory premises. Give him another appointment and proceed to the next subject who is starving to undergo the CHIDE TEST.
• Do not keep glass bottles at hands reach of the subject. The laboratory specification mentions that the minimum distance between the examiner and the subject be 7 feet. A teak table that is at least 7 feet broad and 9 feet wide and high enough to prevent someone jumping over it to catch the examiner’s throat.

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QUALIFICATIONS OF ASSISTANT
Who cannot be an Assistant for the CHIDE TEST
Lady receptionist or secretary is disqualified as assistant due to the Woman’s Right to Safety and Health. Recruit an assistant who has the following physical features.
He should be well built muscular guy with
broad, long, flowing mustache that is curled at the corners.
PREFERENCE: It is preferable to hire a guy whose CV shows past experience in Armed Forces, or Police Department or has been jailed for brutal assault.
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Reference:
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Meaning of ‘chide’:
chide (chd)
v. chid·ed or chid (chd), chid·ed or chid or chid·den (chdn), chid·ing, chides
v.tr.
To scold mildly so as to correct or improve; reprimand: chided the boy for his sloppiness.
v.intr.
To express disapproval.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/chide

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Synonyms:
verb
To criticize for a fault or an offense: admonish, call down, castigate, chastise, dress down, rap, rebuke, reprimand, reproach, reprove, scold, tax, upbraid.
Informal bawl out, lambaste.
Slang chew out.
Idioms: bring call, take to task, call on the carpet, haulrakeover the coals, let someone have it.
See attack/defend, praise/blame.
http://www.answers.com/topic/chide

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Translations
Translations for: Chide
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Home > Library > Literature & Language > Translations

Dansk (Danish)
v. tr. – skænde på, irettesætte
v. intr. – skænde

Nederlands (Dutch)
berispen

Français (French)
v. tr. – réprimander
v. intr. – réprimander

Deutsch (German)
v. – schelten

Ελληνική (Greek)
v. – κατσαδιάζω, μαλώνω

Italiano (Italian)
rimproverare, riprendere, biasimare, sgridare, brontolare

Português (Portuguese)
v. – repreender

Русский (Russian)
попрекать, отчитывать

Español (Spanish)
v. tr. – reprender, amonestar, regañar
v. intr. – hacer una amonestación o un regaño

Svenska (Swedish)
v. – banna, bannas, klaga

中文（简体） (Chinese (Simplified))
责备, 责骂, 责怪

中文（繁體） (Chinese (Traditional))
v. tr. – 責備, 責罵, 責怪
v. intr. – 責備, 責罵, 責怪

한국어 (Korean)
v. tr. – 꾸짖다, 투덜대다
v. intr. – 꾸짖다, 투덜대다

日本語 (Japanese)
v. – しかる, 非難する, 小言を言う

العربيه (Arabic)
‏(فعل) وبخ, أنب‏

עברית (Hebrew)
v. tr. – ‮גער ב-, נזף ב-‬
v. intr. -
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