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Dr. Ashok Koparday
Dr. Hetal Gosalia

Dr. Ashok Koparday | Dr. Hetal Gosalia

Date last updated: April 08, 2020

By TOP SEXOLOGIST in Mumbai Dr. Ashok Koparday

डॅाक्टर अशोक कोपर्डे

TOP FEMALE SEXOLOGIST, Mumbai Dr. Hetal Gosalia

डॉक्टर हेतल गोसालिआ

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Erectile Dysfunction in Newly Wed

Wrong Diagnosis

Correct Treatment

By Best Sexologist Mumbai, Dr. Ashok Koparday

Top Female Sexologist India, Dr. Hetal Gosalia

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If you are newlywed or it’s your First Sex you had difficulty and if you believed it to be due to Erectile Dysfunction or Premature Ejaculation then you must read this.
Here I will tell you why young newlywed men come to me (visit a Sexologist) saying they have Erectile Dysfunction or Premature Ejaculation or both. None of them had a problem with masturbation. No problem before the wedding. After the wedding or during first few sexual attempts as they begin active sexual intercourse they notice difficulties that are frightening.Hence, they do frantic Google Search.
Google Search gives them their (wrong) diagnosis.
What happens all of a sudden after the wedding?
What are the problems during First Sex?
Know the solution from the team of best sexologists in India Dr. Ashok Koparday and Dr. Hetal Gosalia.

For erection problems in young who are going  to get married or are just married there is a definite treatment. Your Problem :( Our solution :) Your Happiness :) Dr. Ashok Koparday Top Sexologist in India Samadhan Health Studio | Center of Excellence Mumbai Thane Navi Mumbai Pune Bengaluru

Erectile Dysfunction can be DEFINITELY treated in the young married or the one to get married Top Sexologist in India Ashok Koparday Samadhan Health Studio | Center of Excellence Mumbai

Aap ka problem 🙁
Hamara solution 🙂
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Erectile Dysfunction in Newly Wed

Common things in these boys are:
A. They are newlywed.
B. He married willingly. The marriage was not done under duress due to family pressure against his will.
C. The boy did not know that he would meet with sexual problem after the wedding.

Erectile Dysfunction in Newly Wed 3 Common Causes

Three common causes of wrong diagnosis of erectile dysfunction are discussed below.
1. Performance pressure
2. High excitement
3. VaginismusFemale ProblemWhy penis is not able to go in vagina? Click to see animated picture .

Knowing these before or even after the wedding is extremely useful for boys and girls.
A young boy – just married or unmarried – says he has problem of

    • Premature Ejaculation,
    • Loses Erection just at the time of insertion, (good erection during foreplay)
    • Erectile Dysfunction,
    • Impotence,
    • Penis is not as stiff as it used to be,
    • Small Size of Penis,
    • Decreased Sexual Desire.

These are the steps in which sex problems progress finally reaching:

  • “I am not able to satisfy my wife sexually.”

First ask him -THIS IS IMPORTANT-if he is newly married or has he recently begun sex.


  • Newlywed/First Sex Tips By Top Sexologist Mumbai


  • Suhagarat/First Sex Tips By Top Sexologist Mumbai


Erectile Dysfunction in NewlyWed

Why knowing wrong diagnosis of erectile dysfunction is important?

When these problems are reported by the newly wed boy or unmarried boy who had a stray chance of sex the treatment is entirely different.

The good news for these scared boys is that they can have wonderfully satisfying sex even without medicines or injections.

What they require is correct guidance. In addition lot of confidence and patience is also required. Whether the female partner responds by cooperation or she reacts with criticism/condemnation makes a big difference in the treatment outcome. If her attitude is of blaming and accusation or complaining and criticism the treatment becomes very difficult.

Erectile Dysfunction in Newly Wed

Cause of (wrong diagnosis) erectile dysfunction in newly wed

The cause of any one or all of the above mentioned sex problems is nervousness in a sensitive boy who is doing sexual intercourse for the first time.

The lack of correct knowledge and the pressure that he must perform well in first sex/during honeymoon causes difficulty in getting the erection.
Note: Any boy who really has Erectile Dysfunction will not dare to step into marriage.
This sex problem is not anticipated. The boy who used to enjoy sex and was looking forward to the real experience gets a big surprise and panics.

Erectile Dysfunction in Newly Wed

How (wrongly diagnosed) erectile dysfunction progresses in newly wed

It takes away the pleasure of sex and puts performance pressure instead. This kind of pressure is not good for getting an erection even for an experienced guy. When the male becomes tense, sex becomes a test and sex is like appearing for the examination. Difficulty in erection/insertion even once shatters the boy. The next time the boy is tenser. This further increases his difficulty in getting an erection. This vicious cycle dooms him. He may do Google search and labels himself with the wrong diagnosis of Erectile Dysfunction. Soon his sexual desire starts reducing and penis appears to shrink (he starts finding faults with his genitals.)

Premature Ejaculation in Newly Wed

More commonly due to his intense peak of excitement the boy ejaculates before insertion or immediately after insertion. The whole vicious cycle described above gives him two wrong diagnosis; one ‘premature ejaculation’ and the other wrong diagnosis he slaps on himself is ‘erectile dysfunction’.

“What will she think about me if I am not able to do sexual intercourse”,
“It’s so embarrassing” are the thoughts in boy’s mind. “I am not man enough?” “I will surely fall in her eyes” if I am not able to do sex in first night or honeymoon/suhagarat. He wrongly believes that he must be able to do sex the first time. He has no experience and sex appears easy in the porn film with just a click of a button. Porn adds to the wrong expectations.

Any actual or imagined difficulty in sexual intercourse leads to performance pressure.
This unspoken pressure in an inexperienced sensitive boy leads to, “I lose my erection even before I penetrate”.

Girls are NOT AWARE of the enormous performance pressure in the boy who appears so macho.
Similarly, boys are not aware of the huge load of fear (of pain and bleeding) girls carry during first sexual intercourse/first night/suhagrat/honeymoon.

Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation in Newly Wed
Consequences of wrong diagnosis of erectile dysfunction in newly wed


You will also discover symptoms of depression in this young man.
He does not feel fresh when he wakes up in the morning.
The whole day while at work he has to push himself to do the work.
Previously (Before the discovery of his inability to insert) his enthusiasm during the whole day used to be high such that he could take up many activities. Now he tends to procrastinate, delegate, avoid work.
Check this: HEALTHMETER®


Vaginismus – Unconsummated sex -> Wrong Diagnosis of Erectile Dysfunction

What is VaginismusFemale ProblemWhy penis is not able to go in vagina? Click to read?
Erectile Dysfunction in NewlyWed or during First Sex or in a guy who is going to get married.
Below is discussed another not uncommon cause of


  • 1. Keep Your Cursor Here

    In newly wed wrong diagnosis of erectile dysfunction or

    Premature Ejaculation, Impotence, Small Size of Penis is not uncommon?

    Ask him -THIS IS IMPORTANT- if complete insertion of penis in vagina has happened . Even after months or years of wedding the marriage can be unconsummated. Wrong diagnosis can wreck the boy’s self esteem.
    The details of unconsummated sex and vaginismus along with animated pictures are given on other posts. Below is a quick recap of the same. If you haven’t read those posts you better continue reading.

    What is unconsummated sex / unconsummated marriage?

    Know about unconsummated No Penetration No insertion of penis in vagina while attempting sexual intercourse is unconsummated sexsex or unconsummated marriage.

    During honey moon or from the first sexual intercourse itself insertion (I am not using the word ‘penetration’***) of penis in vagina has never happened.

    The penis is visible and changes in size during erection and after ejaculation. Penis is the passenger. Vagina is the passage. The thought that there could be some difficulty in the passage goes unnoticed. This difficulty in passage typically happens due to vaginismus.

    What is vaginismus?

    Involuntary contraction of the opening of vagina is vaginismus. Vaginismus leads to inability in insertion of penis in vagina and the sex is unconsummated.

    Simple way to check vaginismus
    Find if her own or her husband’s one finger can go inside her vagina. If it pains, if it cannot go easily the diagnosis is vaginismus.

    The fear and pain while attempting insertion of finger or penis is so evident that even Gynecologic Examination is unnecessary.

    You will also discover that she cannot or will not use a tampon (o.b.tampon® Johnson & Johnson’s). Tampon serves the same purpose as sanitary napkins, which are worn during menses. Tampons are to be inserted inside the vagina.

    I have not found necessary to send even a single woman for Per Vaginal, Per Speculum Examination (PV, PS) to Obstetrician Gynecologist.

    Erectile Dysfunction or Premature Ejaculation in Newly Wed


  • 2. Keep your cursor here

    In treatment of vaginismus I incorporate Finger Exercise.

    How Dildo helps in treatment: The diameter of dildo is gradually increased till it corresponds to diameter of erect penis (Dildo is penis sized and is shaped like penis. It is not sharp, but round and blunt so that it will not hurt the vaginal mucosa)

    I have not found necessary the use of applicator or dildo that a woman is supposed to insert and keep in her vagina for some time for the purpose of treatment of unconsummated marriage due to vaginismus.

    How and why of Fenton’s Operation for treatment of vaginismus?
    In the past Fenton’s Operation was done as treatment of vaginismus.

    Cruciate incision was taken at the vaginal orifice to increase the dimension of vaginal opening.
    This operation is out dated because the dynamics of vaginismus is unaltered.

    In vaginismus there is subconscious, sudden contraction of pubococcygeous muscles at the time of insertion in vagina. It is a vagina in panic, screaming “NO ENTRY!”.

    Operation does not prevent the instantaneous, involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles due to fear in anticipation of vaginal penetration. This reaction will occur if she expects pain during penetration (often even before attempting it!).
    Erectile Dysfunction Newlywed or to Get Married

    SUMMARY: Wrong Diagnosis of Erectile Dysfunction

    Erectile Dysfunction,
    Stiffness is less,
    Hard on not as before,
    Diminished Sexual Desire,
    Premature Ejaculation,
    Penis is small in size,
    ALL these
    male sexual problems are wrongly diagnosed in Newly Wed Man who is not able to penetrate (Penis could not be inserted in vagina) during sexual intercourse.
    The condition where couple during sexual intercourse are not able to accomplish insertion of penis in vagina is called UNCONSUMMATED sex.

    In peno-vaginal Sexual Intercourse, why the word ‘Insertion’ is preferred instead of ‘Penetration’ (As in Penetrative Sex)?

    My senior colleague, eminent Dr. J. V. Bhatt, who was Dean of Medical College in the University of Mumbai remarks, “Penetration sounds harsh, forceful. Whereas Insertion indicates easily going inside where it is supposed to go.” This difference between ‘insertion’ and ‘penetration’ is important. I therefore use the word ‘insertion’ instead of the commonly used word, ‘penetration’ to convey the above meaning where ever required in context of Sexual Intercourse.

Useful Links

How bad is your condition?



2 Why Boy Postpones Marriage Premarital Anxiety Fear of Failure

What is the precise cause of ED in newlywed?

unconsummated first sex no penetration 2020

3 no-insertion-of-penis-during-sex

What she fears?

everything about bleeding pain first sex 2020

4 Bleeding Pain First Sex



6 Animated Picture showing Vaginismus


7 Large Animated Picture showing the mechanism of Vaginismus
8 Vagina in panic.

Erectile Dysfunction in Newly Wed

Wrong Diagnosis

Correct Treatment

Dr. Hetal Gosalia

Dr. (Mr.) Ashok Koparday
M.B.B.S., F.C.S.E.P. (International)
Accreditation: M.M.C. of India
Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College
King Edward Memorial
K. E. M. Hospital

Grant Medical College
Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals ,
University of Mumbai
Dr. Ashok Koparday is practicing over 20 years as
Consultant in Psycho-Sexual Medicine &
Marriage counselor
Member: Indian Medical Association
Fellow: Council of Sex Education & Parenthood (International)
Ashok Koparday
Senior Sexologist (Experience 20 years)
Consulting Hours:

Rated  ?????
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Samadhan Health Studio

A1, Namdeep, Barrister Nath Pai Road,
Near Vikrant Circle, Barrister Nath Pai Nagar,

Ghatkopar East ,
Mumbai , Maharashtra, India400077

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License: CC-BY-NC-SA-4.0 Attribution as given here:
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Erectile dysfunction newly wed Difficulty in First Sex by Best Sexologist Mumbai Ashok Koparday

Erectile Dysfunction in Newly Wed

Wrong Diagnosis

Correct Treatment

Date published: May 12, 2009
Date created: 2008

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